Mental Illness And The Family: Recognizing Warning Signs And How To Cope
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Most people believe that mental health conditions are rare and “happen to someone else." In fact, mental health conditions are common and widespread. An estimated 44 million Americans suffer from some form of mental disorder in a given year.
Most families are not prepared to cope with learning their loved one has a mental illness. It can be physically and emotionally trying, and can make us feel vulnerable to the opinions and judgments of others.
If you think you or someone you know may have a mental or emotional problem, it is important to remember there is hope and help.
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What Is Mental Illness?
Mental Illnesses are brain-based conditions that affect thinking, emotions, and behaviors. Since we all have brains – having some kind of mental health problem during your life is really common.
For people who have mental illnesses, their brains have changed in a way in which they are unable to think, feel, or act in ways they want to. For some, this means experiencing extreme and unexpected changes in mood – like feeling more sad or worried than normal. For others, it means not being able to think clearly, not being able to communicate with someone who is talking to them, or having bizarre thoughts to help explain weird feelings they are having.
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There are more than 200 classified forms of mental illness. Some of the more common disorders are depression, bipolar disorder, dementia, schizophrenia and anxiety disorders. Symptoms may include changes in mood, personality, personal habits and/or social withdrawal.
Mental health problems may be related to excessive stress due to a particular situation or series of events. As with cancer, diabetes and heart disease, mental illnesses are often physical as well as emotional and psychological. Mental illnesses may be caused by a reaction to environmental stresses, genetic factors, biochemical imbalances, or a combination of these. With proper care and treatment many individuals learn to cope or recover from a mental illness or emotional disorder.
To hear personal descriptions of mental illness, visit feelslike.
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Warning Signs And Symptoms
To learn more about symptoms that are specific to a particular mental illness, search under Mental Health Information.The following are signs that your loved one may want to speak to a medical or mental health professional.
It is especially important to pay attention to sudden changes in thoughts and behaviors. Also keep in mind that the onset of several of the symptoms below, and not just any one change, indicates a problem that should be assessed. The symptoms below should not be due to recent substance use or another medical condition.
If you or someone you know is in crisis now, seek help immediately. Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to reach a 24 hour crisis center or dial 911 for immediate assistance.
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How To Cope Day-To-Day
Accept Your Feelings
Despite the different symptoms and types of mental illnesses, many families who have a loved one with mental illness, share similar experiences. You may find yourself denying the warning signs, worrying what other people will think because of the stigma, or wondering what caused your loved one to become ill. Accept that these feelings are normal and common among families going through similar situations. Find out all you can about your loved one’s conditionby reading and talking with mental health professionals. Share what you have learned with others.
Handling Unusual Behavior
The outward signs of a mental illness are often behavioral.A person may be extremely quiet or withdrawn. Conversely, they may burst into tears, have great anxiety or have outbursts of anger.
Even after treatment has started, someindividuals with a mental illness can exhibit anti-social behaviors. When in public, these behaviors can be disruptive and difficult to accept. The next time you and your family member visit your doctor or mental health professional, discuss these behaviors and develop a strategy for coping.
The individual's behavior may be as dismaying to them as it is to you. Ask questions, listen with an open mind and be there to support them.
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Establishing A Support Network
Whenever possible, seek support from friends and family members. If you feel you cannot discuss your situation with friends or other family members, find a self-help or support group. These groups provide an opportunity for you to talk to other people who are experiencing the same type of problems. They can listen and offer valuable advice.
Seeking Counseling
Therapy can be beneficial for both the individual with mental illness and other family members. A mental health professional can suggest ways to cope and better understand your loved one’s illness.
When looking for a therapist, be patient and talk to a few professionals so you can choose the person that is right for you and your family. It may take time until you are comfortable, but in the long run you will be glad you sought help.
Taking Time Out
It is common for the person with the mental illness to become the focus of family life. When this happens, other members of the family may feel ignored or resentful. Some may find it difficult to pursue their own interests.
If you are the caregiver,youneed some time for yourself. Schedule time awayto preventbecoming frustrated or angry. If you schedule time for yourself it will help you to keep things in perspective and you may have more patience and compassion for coping or helping your loved one.Being physically and emotionally healthy helps you to help others.
“Many families who have a loved one with mental illness share similar experiences”
It is important to remember that there is hope for recovery and that with treatment many people with mental illness return to a productive and fulfilling life.
Other Resources
Mental Illness in the Family: Part 1 Recognizing the Warning Signs & How to Copeis one in a series of pamphlets on helping family members with mental illness. Other Mental Health America titles include:
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Mental Illness in the Family: Part II Guidelines for Seeking Care
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Mental Illness in the Family: Part III Guidelines for Hospitalization
Mental Health America offers additional pamphlets on a variety of mental health topics. For more information or to order multiple copies of pamphlets, please contact Mental Health America
External Resources
Find a Local MHA Affiliate
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
Phone 800-789-2647
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
Information Resources and Inquiries Branch
Phone 301-443-4513
Life on the Ledge Podcast
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How Mental Illness Affects Romantic Relationships
Half of all adults will experience a mental health condition in their lifetime.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/couples-thrive/201909/how-mental-illness-affects-romantic-relationships
Posted Sep 24, 2019 ​​
Nearly half of adults experience a mental illness at least once in their lifetime. Research and practical experience tell us that mental illness can cause a person to have decreased quality of life, decreased productivityand employment, and even impaired physical health.
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A mental illness—including post-traumatic stress disorder, major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and alcoholism—can also affect a person’s relationships. There may be no relationship more affected by mental illness than the intimate relationship between partners.
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The good news is that it’s possible to be in a healthy, loving, and long-term partnership with someone who has a mental illness. If this is relevant to you, be aware of the unique challenges you and your partner may face, and utilize resources and strategies that will help you grow and nurture your relationship.
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3 Ways Mental Illness Can Affect an Intimate Relationship
The following issues are common within couples affected by mental illness. No two relationships are the exact same, so it’s important to take into context your unique relationship so you’ll be able to identify where you may need additional guidance.
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Shame, guilt, and resentment. Having a mental illness is hard enough, but the stigma associated with mental health conditions can add an extra layer of stress for both partners. The person with a mental illness may feel shame, embarrassment, or guilt about their condition. They may try to hide their symptoms or fail to seek the help they need. Meanwhile, their partner may feel confused or frustrated by their inability to help. In some cases, a person with depression or anxiety may find it difficult to follow through with household tasks, have limited emotional availability, struggle to maintain employment, and lack the desire to socialize. For their partner, these behaviors and challenges can put a strain on the relationship which may lead to feelings of disappointment, rejection, and disconnect.
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Intimacy problems. Having a mental illness can make a person disinterested in sex—either as a result of the condition itself and/or as a result of their treatment. (Decreased libido is a common side effect of antidepressant medications.). Many people with mental health conditions may feel inadequate and have performance anxiety and low self-esteem. For both partners, this can lead to a decreased opportunity for bonding and result in unmet needs.
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The risk of codependent behaviors. Codependency is an unhealthy relationship pattern that manifests as one partner enabling another person’s poor mental health, addiction, and/or coping strategies. The partner of a person with mental illness may start to derive their self-worth from the degree to which they are “needed” or how much they are able to “take care of” their loved one. In extreme cases, codependency can increase the risk of abusive behaviors, including manipulation, name-calling, and other unhealthy dynamics. Knowing how to distinguish the need to encourage and support from the co-dependent nature of managing the other person’s symptoms will help.
Having a partner affected by a mental health condition can be navigated in a relationship if both partners have the skills and awareness to cope and communicate through these challenges.
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This is why a paradigm shift is needed: People should feel empowered to seek help if they or their loved one is struggling with mental health. Mental illness is not a character flaw nor a moral issue. Yes, people need to be held responsible for their actions and behaviors—but they also deserve context, understanding, and support so they can learn how to manage their well-being, heal from past trauma, and honor their partner’s experience.
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Helpful Tips for Partners
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Educate yourself. Learn about the condition together. This helps you gain a better understanding of it and clues you in to how the symptoms manifest in your marriage or partnership.
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Practice your communication skills. Speak openly and honestly about your feelings, needs, and concerns. Use “active listening” skills like seeking understanding, asking clarifying questions, and using engaged body language (eye contact, a gentle touch, and interest).
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Commit to excellent self-care. By taking good care of your physical and mental health, you’ll be better equipped to support each other and your family. Beneficial acts of self-care include regular exercise, healthy eating, a consistent sleep schedule, journaling, and doing hobbies and activities you enjoy.
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Seek professional help. Use whatever resources are relevant to you and within your means. Both couples counseling and individual counseling may be appropriate.
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Have realistic expectations. You can’t demand that someone change who they are nor expect them to meet all your needs at all times; this is true for all relationships. Equally, you shouldn’t have to violate your boundaries in order to maintain the relationship. Find a way to compromise and grow so both of you feel safe and supported.